Thursday, May 19, 2011

Confused People

Today I start several days of training with Choose to Wait. We want to use the curriculum with many aspects of our ministry. As I look over my introductory packet, I realize that we are going to be asked to journal our personal journey.

My own is quite confused, and when I was growing up, the surrounding culture was not filled with nearly the multitude of confusing and contradictory messages that it is today. I never thought I was lesbian, bisexual or transgender. I was never sexually abused, thank God. Yet my journey was still confused.

Two things stand out. One, my dad tried constantly to teach me to say "No" to boys and all the things he was sure they were going to try to do to me and with me. I have realized since then that it was pretty ridiculous to think I was going to say "No" to boys when I couldn't even say "Hi" to them. I was so vulnerable in those days. It is only the grace of God that protected me.

Second, along the way I have struggled tremendously with my role as a woman in God's world. I've gone to some pretty wild extremes in the past trying to find my place. I think a lot of that goes back to the way my parents related to one another. I deeply resented the way my dad treated my mom, and over the years it has resulted in so much struggle. Gradually I've come to some kind of balance on it, I think, although I don't claim to have resolved all the issues.

Knowing how deeply my experiences have affected me, and realizing how mild they were compared to the confusion proffered in today's world, compounded with the truly terrible, undescribable unthinkable experiences so many kids have had to endure, I feel a real need to get a better handle on these issues.

The training goes beyond just saying no to sex outside of marriage. It goes down to the core of being men and women created AS men and women by God. I'm looking forward to learning more.

The majority of African kids we work with don't even have a father who is active in their lives. Most are with single mothers (and some on their own in child-headed families), children of prostitution and casual sex, children whose fathers deserted them when the going got tough, children whose fathers were killed in cattle raids and in war, children whose both parents died of AIDS. Most have never lived in and many have never seen a normal family with both parents intact. Of course, this is not the majority of African families, but it is because we work with vulnerable children or children in crisis.

I thank God that gender confusion has not yet become popular in Africa as it is in America, but there are groups that are pushing it. Unless God intervenes, it is probably only a matter of time until gender confusion begins to grow there, too. It is scary to me to think what it would be like for such confusion to grow in a soil fertilized by such family breakdown. The results could be scary indeed.

I don't claim to have it all down, but this I do know. God created us male and female, different but equal in value. His plan is always good.

I am praying that the training I'll be receiving will help to clear some of the confusion for those who call me "Mama".

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Celebrating 50 years with Jesus

It's my spiritual anniversary. May 12-15, 1961. A shy 15 year old girl whom I hardly recognize struggled over 4 days with her need of a Savior. Fifty years ago I came to faith in Jesus Christ. I am so very eternally glad I did.

I wish I could say that after that, my record was one of unbroken faithfulness to Him. Sadly, that is not the case. If I lied about that I'm sure my sister, brother, husband or kids could quickly step up to correct the record. Yet one thing is VERY sure. He has never been unfaithful to me.

Over fifty years time I suppose you would expect a person to change, but from where I was to where I am? It's a very, very long journey. Fifty years alone could never have done it. Jesus did.

Those who know me now often find it hard to accept when I tell them that until I was 15 I probably said no more than five words to any human being outside my family. I was so shy, so fearful of being rejected. My dream in life was to be popular--me, who spent the whole eighth grade plotting to say "hi" to a fellow classmate, and never did get up the courage to do so. Me, who went to every dance and always sat on the side by myself, never dancing and never speaking to anyone the whole time.

How did Jesus change all that? First, in Him I found acceptance and security. Those powerful feelings began to take deep root in my heart. Then, I began to focus on Him and not myself. It was a lot better focus, believe me. The combination of those two things enabled me to gradually begin to reach out to other people.

Another aspect I think was that Jesus gave me a purpose for living. I quickly forgot about my dreams of being popular (never made it to that, but that's OK). I began to understand that He had good plans for me, and that my life was important in His big plan. As I began to focus on His big plan, my life gained significance.

My childhood and adolescence was pretty painful, excruciatingly lonely. Yet God has used those experiences to good advantage. Now as I work on behalf of African children, my heart is always drawn to the outcast, to the hurting. I may not have been adducted like some of the children we serve. I have never slept on the street or been forced into prostitution or slavery. But I do understand emotional pain, and I am always deeply touched by it. It has enabled me to serve more effectively, and although in my job I am exposed to more human suffering that I could bear in myself, somehow Jesus uses the pain of my past to help me bring His healing to others. So even my deepest sufferings have been redeemed. I am so thankful.

I have to admit that my Christian life has been up and down. I certainly am no model of a perfect Christian. One thing I do know, though. Jesus has done so much for me I cannot even begin to tell. I have every reason to celebrate 50 years with Him. The good thing is, no matter how long or how short my life on this earth may be, there is plenty more to celebrate!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Global Giving's New Definition of Discrimination

I had a surprising experience recently when I tried to nominate Every Child Ministries for inclusion on the Global Giving website. I see on their site many projects similar to our own, so I felt we would be a good fit. After completing the standard information, I came to these two questions: 1. Are the same services provided to people of all faiths? And 2. Are people required OR ENCOURAGED (emphasis mine) to learn about your faith? The first question was easy to answer. ECM serves children of all faiths or no faith at all. We know God loves everyone and we want to express that by serving others regardless of their religion. The second question was harder because of the inclusion of the words "Or encouraged". How could someone who has something as good as the Christian faith NOT encourage others to consider it? That would be like having a cure for cancer but not encouraging anybody to look into it. That would be a tremendous crime against humanity. So, I answered "Yes." We don't force anyone to change their faith (as if such a thing were really possible anyway). We encourage and teach our staff not to overly pressure people to become Christians. But we definitely do encourage people to consider the claims of Jesus Christ and His ability to change their lives.

As soon as I clicked "Yes", a box in colored writing popped up saying that they have a non-discrimation policy and we couldn't be approved anyway, so I might as well quit working on the application right there. I went ahead anyway. I know we do not discriminate on the basis of religion, so I couldn't believe we would be turned down just for encouraging people to learn about Christianity and then decide for themselves. No opportunity was given to explain, and as soon as I hit the send button, another box popped up telling me that our application was being rejected because we discriminate. I wanted to respond, "No, I think it is YOU who is discriminating against us." The only recourse was to write an email telling them why I still felt ECM should be considered. I did so, in my most polite English. The email was never even acknowledged, and we never heard from Global Giving again.

Of course, they have the right to set the rules for their own website, but the more I thought about it, the more I was dismayed by their novel use of the word "discriminate." If we had denied help to someone based on their religion, that would be discrimination. But is it now to be considered discrimination to encourage people to learn about the faith that motivates and sustains us in offering help to them? What a strange definition of discrimination!

Well, I never considered it a virtue to discriminate before, but if encouraging people to learn about the One who made them and loves them is discrimination, I guess we are discriminators. Sounds like a better term all the time.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Human Potential the Easiest Resource to Waste

Those who know me realize I am very conservative in use of resources. I am always going through my house and asking over every item, "What is the highest use to which I could put this?" I'm concerned about stewardship, and I want to use what God entrusts to me well.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about the waste of human potential amongst my beloved African children. It started when we printed out a batch of report cards scanned from our Uganda office of Every Child Ministries. They were the long anticipated FIRST report cards representing the first academic efforts of former Karimojong beggar children. Was it really possible to take kids who had never been to school off the street, kids who were just learning their first words of English other than "Give me," have them begin in third grade, and really expect that they could do well? We were not at all sure. Sometimes in similar cases we have seen children struggle for years. Some never can catch up. Yet the first report cards from the beggar kids shows that they must be very brilliant children. Brilliant, yet on the very bottom social level. Brilliant, yet despised and ridiculed by the majority. Brilliant, but just now getting their very first break in life, their very first opportunity.

I know they are loved and valued by God whether they are brilliant or not. We all are. Yet I am also utterly amazed that these kids have within them such immense human potential, potential that no one might have ever discovered. It seems like human potential is the easiest resource of all to waste. How I pray that we will find more people interested in child sponsorship, more people willing to invest in unmined human potential.