Giving Wisely

I just finished "Giving Wisely" by Jonathan Martin, a gift from our daughter Sharon & family. His premise is that Americans are very generous, but often do more harm than good with their unwise giving.

Martin makes several valid points in his book, but I think the situation is vastly more complex than he describes. One case in point is child sponsorship. He feels that most child sponsorship programs create inequities in the community by raising one child over another. He thinks the best programs raise the whole community togeether rather than helping children one by one.

Yet even if sponsorship raised the whole community, wouldn't that create an inequity (and an equal danger of jealousy) with surrounding communities? Can anything be done to help anywhere without creating inquities of one sort or another? I think not.

Of course, I admit I am prejudiced on this point, because Every Child Ministries has child sponsorship programs. Or maybe that actually makes me more qualified to speak. Being intimately connected with the policy decisions made regarding those child sponsorship programs, I am familiar with the difficulties and the dividends of sponsorship.

At Every Child Ministries, we take pains to make sure that the very neediest children in the community are selected. Yes, their level will be raised because of the sponsorship, but if they are at the very bottom of the opportunity ladder, then raising them a few notches will not make them privileged and spoiled, but will put them closer to the norm with other children.

Most sponsorship organizations permit only one child per family, but most of our children are orphans of at least one parent if not both, taken in by relatives or others. We did find that when the outside child got sponsorship but not the children by birth, this did create difficult relationships. We were watching this closely, and made a policy change to allow and even encourage sponsorship of one of the children by birth as well.

Other things we have done to discourage jealousy and inequity are 1. to encourage gifts chosen by the project coordinator rather than by the sponsor, 2. to pool holiday gift funds and purchase the same thing, a needed item, for all the children and also to send gift bags of food items or other needed items home to the families, 3. to help with community projects in the sponsorship areas whenever possible (clean water, school library, etc.) 4. to visit the families by rotation and leave a gift for one of the other children on each visit.

When I think of the changes sponsorship has brought to the children in our programs, I know for sure that our sponsor's giving has been wise. Although not without pitfalls and problems, child sponsorship is still, in my opinion, one of the best ways to help children.

Further, sponsors love the personal connection. Giving to a community project just isn't the same. Helping one child is something to which most people can relate. That's why it's so popular.

I am vitally interested in the topic, "Giving Wisely," but on the subject of child sponsorship, I still say that sponsoring a child is a very wise investment. I still say it's very good stewardship.

AN AFRICAN SISTER ENCOURAGED ME

One of my dear African sisters greatly encouraged me recently. I had a rather difficult and unpleasant time this summer due to problems with a staff member whose every conversation centered on what more he could get. I am not accustomed to servants of God talking or thinking in these terms, and it wore me out both physically and emotionally. When I came home I had a harder than average time readjusting.

Then came an email from Resty, a dear Ugandan sister and one of our faithful workers there. While we were together this summer, we had prayed and brainstormed many times seeking a good solution for a young boy who kept running away from home. Numerous trips were made to the police on his behalf. He had been rejected by his parents, experienced problems wetting himself, had gone to the streets and had become so smelly that taxi drivers and even bodabodas (open motorcycles used like taxis) refused him a ride. Medical tests showed no physical problem. The doctors said he just needed love. Resty has run around and expended so much effort trying to find a place that would take (I'll call him Marvelous). All to no avail. Although we had said we would not start another children's home, Marvelous's case made me think about it again. Yet I knew that even if we did start a home, getting it up and running is a long, expensive, and difficult process. There's no way we could do it in time to help Marvelous. And at other places he was too young, too old, not yet in serious delinquency, not this, not that. It seemed hopeless and we were out of ideas. We tried to show Marvelous all the love we could in our programs, but he needed a home.

Then Resty's email came. In sharing his story for prayer, a family stepped forward to help--a family who has helped other children who were suffering the devastating effects of rejection. They were taking in Marvelous, with the approval of the police and all the other authorities that be. I could only praise God. I was so thankful for this breakthrough.

I realize too how much effort Resty has expended on this child. She truly has shown her love and concern for even the smelliest of these. Truly we made the right decision when we recently promoted her to the position of "Child and Family Advocate." Thank you, Resty, for your faithfulness, your caring heart. Thank you for encouraging me today.

Beggar Children --What a Life!

While in Uganda I've had an opportunity to visit the Karimojong beggar children and their families living in the slums of Kitwe and Kisenyi, right in the heart of the capital city of Kampala. What a life these kids have! Forced out of their homeland by drought and starvation, they are now forced into tiny makeshift shelters, ten to fifteen families to a room! When it rains, their dirt floors flood and they are forced to stand throughout the night. They are looked down on by the majority Buganda population as well as other ethnic groups in the city. They are not welcome most places they go. I certainly don't condone sending children out on the street to beg, but you have to have some sympathy when you consider the problems they are facing. Even these patched together tents and homes made from pieces of junk picked from the dump are se t up on rented land. One group is about to be expelled because the developer has plans to build there; others have been warned they have only one year left before they will be expelled. This means even more severe overcrowding or simply sleeping on the street "wherever". Even the public toilets, such as they are, require an entry fee! And if the Karimojong return home, they face mass starvation. Conditions are so desperate there that children try to escape by clinging to the underside of trucks!

I am so glad that success does not depend on me and on my good ideas! My ideas are not even a drop in the ocean of need the Karimojong face. We serve a God who is unlimited in ideas and in resources--who designed the universe and keeps it running, who designed the intricacies of the cell and of DNA. We are committed to doing all we can to help these precious people. Please pray that God will show us the way and open up His resources to accomplish the task.

The Karimojong people desperately need a Gospel breakthrough. Please pray for that.
We would like to sponsor more children to school so that they can get jobs and fit into Ugandan society. Please pray for sponsorships.

It must feel to the Karimojong that God does not love them, but I know He does. Please pray for Recho, Merab and our other workers as they seek to demonstrate that love.

Confused People

Today I start several days of training with Choose to Wait. We want to use the curriculum with many aspects of our ministry. As I look over my introductory packet, I realize that we are going to be asked to journal our personal journey.

My own is quite confused, and when I was growing up, the surrounding culture was not filled with nearly the multitude of confusing and contradictory messages that it is today. I never thought I was lesbian, bisexual or transgender. I was never sexually abused, thank God. Yet my journey was still confused.

Two things stand out. One, my dad tried constantly to teach me to say "No" to boys and all the things he was sure they were going to try to do to me and with me. I have realized since then that it was pretty ridiculous to think I was going to say "No" to boys when I couldn't even say "Hi" to them. I was so vulnerable in those days. It is only the grace of God that protected me.

Second, along the way I have struggled tremendously with my role as a woman in God's world. I've gone to some pretty wild extremes in the past trying to find my place. I think a lot of that goes back to the way my parents related to one another. I deeply resented the way my dad treated my mom, and over the years it has resulted in so much struggle. Gradually I've come to some kind of balance on it, I think, although I don't claim to have resolved all the issues.

Knowing how deeply my experiences have affected me, and realizing how mild they were compared to the confusion proffered in today's world, compounded with the truly terrible, undescribable unthinkable experiences so many kids have had to endure, I feel a real need to get a better handle on these issues.

The training goes beyond just saying no to sex outside of marriage. It goes down to the core of being men and women created AS men and women by God. I'm looking forward to learning more.

The majority of African kids we work with don't even have a father who is active in their lives. Most are with single mothers (and some on their own in child-headed families), children of prostitution and casual sex, children whose fathers deserted them when the going got tough, children whose fathers were killed in cattle raids and in war, children whose both parents died of AIDS. Most have never lived in and many have never seen a normal family with both parents intact. Of course, this is not the majority of African families, but it is because we work with vulnerable children or children in crisis.

I thank God that gender confusion has not yet become popular in Africa as it is in America, but there are groups that are pushing it. Unless God intervenes, it is probably only a matter of time until gender confusion begins to grow there, too. It is scary to me to think what it would be like for such confusion to grow in a soil fertilized by such family breakdown. The results could be scary indeed.

I don't claim to have it all down, but this I do know. God created us male and female, different but equal in value. His plan is always good.

I am praying that the training I'll be receiving will help to clear some of the confusion for those who call me "Mama".

Celebrating 50 years with Jesus

It's my spiritual anniversary. May 12-15, 1961. A shy 15 year old girl whom I hardly recognize struggled over 4 days with her need of a Savior. Fifty years ago I came to faith in Jesus Christ. I am so very eternally glad I did.

I wish I could say that after that, my record was one of unbroken faithfulness to Him. Sadly, that is not the case. If I lied about that I'm sure my sister, brother, husband or kids could quickly step up to correct the record. Yet one thing is VERY sure. He has never been unfaithful to me.

Over fifty years time I suppose you would expect a person to change, but from where I was to where I am? It's a very, very long journey. Fifty years alone could never have done it. Jesus did.

Those who know me now often find it hard to accept when I tell them that until I was 15 I probably said no more than five words to any human being outside my family. I was so shy, so fearful of being rejected. My dream in life was to be popular--me, who spent the whole eighth grade plotting to say "hi" to a fellow classmate, and never did get up the courage to do so. Me, who went to every dance and always sat on the side by myself, never dancing and never speaking to anyone the whole time.

How did Jesus change all that? First, in Him I found acceptance and security. Those powerful feelings began to take deep root in my heart. Then, I began to focus on Him and not myself. It was a lot better focus, believe me. The combination of those two things enabled me to gradually begin to reach out to other people.

Another aspect I think was that Jesus gave me a purpose for living. I quickly forgot about my dreams of being popular (never made it to that, but that's OK). I began to understand that He had good plans for me, and that my life was important in His big plan. As I began to focus on His big plan, my life gained significance.

My childhood and adolescence was pretty painful, excruciatingly lonely. Yet God has used those experiences to good advantage. Now as I work on behalf of African children, my heart is always drawn to the outcast, to the hurting. I may not have been adducted like some of the children we serve. I have never slept on the street or been forced into prostitution or slavery. But I do understand emotional pain, and I am always deeply touched by it. It has enabled me to serve more effectively, and although in my job I am exposed to more human suffering that I could bear in myself, somehow Jesus uses the pain of my past to help me bring His healing to others. So even my deepest sufferings have been redeemed. I am so thankful.

I have to admit that my Christian life has been up and down. I certainly am no model of a perfect Christian. One thing I do know, though. Jesus has done so much for me I cannot even begin to tell. I have every reason to celebrate 50 years with Him. The good thing is, no matter how long or how short my life on this earth may be, there is plenty more to celebrate!

Global Giving's New Definition of Discrimination

I had a surprising experience recently when I tried to nominate Every Child Ministries for inclusion on the Global Giving website. I see on their site many projects similar to our own, so I felt we would be a good fit. After completing the standard information, I came to these two questions: 1. Are the same services provided to people of all faiths? And 2. Are people required OR ENCOURAGED (emphasis mine) to learn about your faith? The first question was easy to answer. ECM serves children of all faiths or no faith at all. We know God loves everyone and we want to express that by serving others regardless of their religion. The second question was harder because of the inclusion of the words "Or encouraged". How could someone who has something as good as the Christian faith NOT encourage others to consider it? That would be like having a cure for cancer but not encouraging anybody to look into it. That would be a tremendous crime against humanity. So, I answered "Yes." We don't force anyone to change their faith (as if such a thing were really possible anyway). We encourage and teach our staff not to overly pressure people to become Christians. But we definitely do encourage people to consider the claims of Jesus Christ and His ability to change their lives.

As soon as I clicked "Yes", a box in colored writing popped up saying that they have a non-discrimation policy and we couldn't be approved anyway, so I might as well quit working on the application right there. I went ahead anyway. I know we do not discriminate on the basis of religion, so I couldn't believe we would be turned down just for encouraging people to learn about Christianity and then decide for themselves. No opportunity was given to explain, and as soon as I hit the send button, another box popped up telling me that our application was being rejected because we discriminate. I wanted to respond, "No, I think it is YOU who is discriminating against us." The only recourse was to write an email telling them why I still felt ECM should be considered. I did so, in my most polite English. The email was never even acknowledged, and we never heard from Global Giving again.

Of course, they have the right to set the rules for their own website, but the more I thought about it, the more I was dismayed by their novel use of the word "discriminate." If we had denied help to someone based on their religion, that would be discrimination. But is it now to be considered discrimination to encourage people to learn about the faith that motivates and sustains us in offering help to them? What a strange definition of discrimination!

Well, I never considered it a virtue to discriminate before, but if encouraging people to learn about the One who made them and loves them is discrimination, I guess we are discriminators. Sounds like a better term all the time.

Human Potential the Easiest Resource to Waste

Those who know me realize I am very conservative in use of resources. I am always going through my house and asking over every item, "What is the highest use to which I could put this?" I'm concerned about stewardship, and I want to use what God entrusts to me well.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about the waste of human potential amongst my beloved African children. It started when we printed out a batch of report cards scanned from our Uganda office of Every Child Ministries. They were the long anticipated FIRST report cards representing the first academic efforts of former Karimojong beggar children. Was it really possible to take kids who had never been to school off the street, kids who were just learning their first words of English other than "Give me," have them begin in third grade, and really expect that they could do well? We were not at all sure. Sometimes in similar cases we have seen children struggle for years. Some never can catch up. Yet the first report cards from the beggar kids shows that they must be very brilliant children. Brilliant, yet on the very bottom social level. Brilliant, yet despised and ridiculed by the majority. Brilliant, but just now getting their very first break in life, their very first opportunity.

I know they are loved and valued by God whether they are brilliant or not. We all are. Yet I am also utterly amazed that these kids have within them such immense human potential, potential that no one might have ever discovered. It seems like human potential is the easiest resource of all to waste. How I pray that we will find more people interested in child sponsorship, more people willing to invest in unmined human potential.