My Spiritual Journey--The Changes Jesus Made

So, for the past several days, in honor of my spiritual anniversary, I've been posting how I came to know Jesus Christ.

Now I'd like to talk about a few of the changes Jesus has made in my life.
Previous to coming to Jesus, my life had been dominated by the dark shadows of my insecure personality.  Always fearing rejection, it was a 3 year project to plan how to say "hi" to somebody.  Most people stare at me in disbelief when I tell them that I don't recall ever speaking to a single person outside my family all through elementary school.  Certainly I did not speak to any of my classmates.  It wasn't that I didn't like them.  I just didn't know how, nor did I have the courage.
In elementary school that wasn't so bad.  I kind of lived in a fantasy world of my own making.  But around about Jr. High, it began to become excrutiating.  I was almost finished with my sophomore year in high school when I came to Christ, and my social situation was not much better.


I can't say that Jesus transformed me into a brilliant conversationalist or a popular socialite.  But becoming a Christian did change things for me.  It took my mental spotlight off my own pain and began to focus it on Jesus.  It assured me of God's love and acceptance.  It assured me of my personal worth as a person made in God's image, an object of His love and mercy, a part of His big plan.  As those ideas filled my mind, it was easier to relax around others.  I was still very shy, but I no longer feared rejection so much.  And I began to understand God's love for others, too, and reach out to them to genuinely befriend them, and not just to get a friend for myself.  That has been a long process.


Along the way in God's providence He brought me a husband who had all the social qualities I lacked.  He has taught me a lot, and I am still amazed at how fast and completely he opens up even to someone he is just meeting.


I am still a quiet, thinker type of person, still more cautious in how I make myself known to others.   I am still uncomfortable in many social situations.  But I no longer fear speaking to people.  I no longer worry about whether I am liked or accepted.  I feel secure and loved, and am able to extend that to others.


My heart always goes out to the underdog, to the person who is alone, to the person who is outcast.  I can identify instantly because for so many years I was an outcast myself.  (And yes, I do recognize that most if not all of that was my own making.)  My own making or not, I can still remember how it feels.  I think maybe God wanted me to go through that pain so that I could identify with the pain of others.


Because of that pain, I have been able to help homeless street kids, abandoned kids, enslaved children, trafficked children.  God has used it all to help many and I think to bring Himself glory.

I must not be the only one in the world who has gone through these things, because some years back I wrote my story for Good News magazine.  They wrote back encouraging me with the news that 63 people had written to them saying that they had received Christ as a result of reading my story.  Wow, that's more than enough repayment for any pain I suffered!


Even better yet, God is not done with me yet.  I can't wait to see what else He has in store.